Team Shredder

This is a still from my new art video called, "The Baby Kicks the Ass of my Hand," starring the poopers or peepers otherwise known at this point as Miep.

Oops, she did it again
this time in a show called "THIS IS NOT A LOVE SONG," at Susanne Vielmetter in Los angeles.

I'm sad to report, Gentle Reader, that I do not have an image to share of Nicole's painting for this show.
I can tell you that somehow, in some magic way, it could be related to this:



















"Slothy"


And to this:



















"Mountain Man"


Mostly due to the fact that it is a tremendous diptych of Team Shredder in the giant crazy waves, and naked on the beach near the insane, huge & rumbling sand dunes. I kid you not.

Team Shredder is planning a special road trip to LA to see for ourselves.


*A special thanks or apology to Sloth for me stealing her images*

Joe Westmoreland's
Tramps Like Us



















I am loving this book right now, and Joe for writing it.
The Author--->












Elsewhere in Team Shredder news:









A certain somebody is kicking tons of butt all over the place.









Also, stay tuned......
will Team Shredder actually get in the water together by sunset???
They theoretically tried for dawn patrol this morning but that was no bueno.....

Subject: Dawn Patrol

Object: Making it happen against all odds

"Dawn" to Team Shredder means getting in the water by8:30 AM, which this Capt'n somehow managed to do yesterday. It was so glorious that I must go again this morning. Quiet, soft bright grey skies and water, weirdly humid, no wind in the AM, sweet waves, and no choads out there. In the morning it's like 40% women, all friendly, and mostly older, sweet guys. No children! And in the parking lot it's the nice ladies laughing with the group of 75-80 year old guys.
Things feel new, fresh, and tender in the mornings out there. That's what I'm talking about!

But it's so worth it, though. Really.
Debbie Brown, hard-hitting, award-winning author of Parasite Lost: The Debbie Brown Story, Debbie's Barrium Swallow, and My Leash, My Noose: Zen Meditations on Surfing and Rage, is currently undergoing the harsh reality of self-inflicted smoking cessation.
Team Shredder applauds her heroic effort, and wants her to know that no matter what the outcome of this theater of cruelty, we still love her. (Pictured at right: The Author in happier times.)

Music.

Don't even think you can miss this show. It opens this Saturday night.




"Progress: Real and Imagined"

May 13th through June 17
At Leo Koenig, 545 West 23rd St. NY, NY 10011






*Tiny kitten alert*

The baby is doing really well. It's a little unbelievable. He's not scared and starving any more. He's yawning and purring and biting our fingers and trying to clean his tiny paws. He's focusing his eyes better. Doctor Candy the vetrinarian told us how to pet his tummy and weenis to get him to pee and poop. I guess that's what their moms do till they learn. We put little bits of baby food and formula on our finger tips for him to nurse on, which he preferrs to the rubber nipple on the bottle.

We have a tiny yet mighty addition to Team Shredder.
Yesterday our pals Anna Joy Springer and Ali Liebegott came knocking on our door with this little dynamo. They found him in their wall. They were hearing tiny meowing sounds and thinking either the new house was haunted or they were both insane. They searched high and low, inside and out, for days, and found nothing. The meowing would stop, and they would think the kitten was dead, and then the next day it would start again. They bought a special ladder and went to the roof and attic crawlspace, and Anna crawled all the way under the house in the dark scary place where corpses and unspeakables reside. Nothing. More meows, then they would stop again. Repeat entire cycle of searching, giving up, searching again. They even called the animal rescue patrol, who did come to the house, but while the lady was there the kitten was silent, of course. Finally after drilling increasingly larger holes all over the wall, Anna cut out a section with her jigsaw, reached in, and pulled out tiny dancer!
They took him right to Doctor Candy, our neighborhood vet, who said he was in amazingly good health FOR A THREE WEEK OLD KITTEN WHO WAS TRAPPED BEHIND A WALL FOR FIVE DAYS! He wasn't even too dehydrated. How can this be?
We can't figure out how he got in the little 1-foot space between the studs, and there is no sign of his mom or siblings. Nor can we figure out how such a tiny dancer could be so tough.
Anna has tentatively named him Carson.
Other possible names so far:
Tiny Dancer
Tiny Bruiser
Little Toughie
Nigel
Junior Nigel
The Baby

The Baby currently resides at the nursery otherwise known as Sea Monkey's apartment. Sea Monkey's doing round-the-clock feedings, while also tending the emotional landscape of her other two cats, Cherry and Buddy Otis, who are deciding whether or not they can deal with the new addition to their household. We'll have to see. The Tiny One may have to go live with another friend. But for now, he's in the overprotective hands of Team Shredder.
Below: Nigel or Carson at the healing bosom of Sea Monkey.

You heard me right.


At Feigen Contemporary.
Opening May 11th, up through July 1st.
535 W. 20th st.
New York, NY 10011

That's how The Mrs. is describing herself this morning, at the height (or low) of hardcore PMS.
Poor Mrs. The Capt'n, she's trying hard to work it out. You'd never know about the underlying struggle if she didn't mention it, though, 'cause she looks so dang good all the time, plus she remains hilarious. Who could tell?




Weekend Winner's Circle
(in no particular order)


Steven Colbert, and you know why.










Zoe Strauss because of her recent triumph.




PD of Ether Meats
otherwise known as the gatekeeper at the crossroads of high culture and sports






Pieter Snapper, brother of a certain Team Shredderer, after 28 hours of recording the guitar tracks for the Turkish version of Schoolhouse Rock in Istanbul.






















Mountain Man, for his upcoming triumph. More on that later.









*images c/o Gree C. Hair, minister of research & development at Team Shredder













A certain member of Team Shredder, A#1 winner.


























And last but not least, Team Shredder climbed back up on the saddle and hit it so f*cking hard you wouldn't even believe it. Even though we were a little bit under the weather.
Sea Monkey surfed like a pro, literally, no lie, and after many sweet rides, The Capt'n got what can only be described as a CRAZY mad ride.

All 3 members of Team Shredder have sinus infections.





And to make matters worse, we've been without an internet connection!
No blogging, no nothing......


...it's like we've forgotten who we are.



But "no worries," as the surfers say.





We're on the ropes















But we're not on the canvas.



















Team Shredder will strike again.

Subject: Temporary Insanity on Queen's Day

I actually said to some queeny tranny lady figure who was brought up to the front of the incredibly slow moving bathroom line at the old school dagger bar, called Saaraien (who can spell it right?)anyway she was escorted up to the front by some weathered looking bulldagger, right in front of me, after I'd waited there 600 hours with my bladder falling out, and that was rough but ok, I was gonna let it go and not say anything, because i believe in ladies first and all that, even sometimes ones who grew up with male priveledge, but the nail in the coffin was when Miss Whatnot started vogueing at herself in the mirror in front of me while her friend Shovel did a photo shoot w/her camera phone, and Miss Whatever was like spinning around smirking to get the applause of me and the other lowly dykes who she just stepped over like so much garbage in the street. Oh no, Mary, I was not having that. Don't (1) climb over me like I'm nothing, (2) vogue at me, then (3) expect me to thank you for it. Not while my drunken bladder is falling out. So i let her pee and when she came out I had to have a word with her. I wasn't too bad, all I said was, "Mary, that was so tired, I've been standing here for an hour." And she was all, "Excuse moi?" And I repeated it, halfway not believing myself because I never have altercations anymore, I'm not into it. Anyway we worked it out, she said something about she guessed they brought her to the front because she once DJ'd there, and I was all like that's ok Mary, and she put out her hand to shake and said it was nice talking to you.
Did I turn into a raging alcoholic after only 5 days of it? I never get mean like that, but I was so furious, my friends afterwards were laughing and said my face was all red. I just felt like it was an insult under pressure of bladder injury and I had to stand up for myself. Now i wonder whether I made a whole thing out of nothing, and that I've actually gone insane.