Monday, February 27, 2006

 

The burnin' bush

This just in-- from the desk of NY correspondant Gree C. Hair-- to the couch of Team Shredder:

HOW'S MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION GOING YOU ASK

Well dear Capt and Sea Monkey
I'm happy to say my resolution to scare everyone off at the Greenpoint
YMCA
is working great-not only will no one come near the sauna when I'm in
it but
usually no one will even swim in the same
lane as me in the pool.
Sometimes a bit of hair especially down around the old separation
between
church and state is just the insular I need.
And I'm pretty sure I saw someone mouthing "rusty brillo pad" last week
when
I walked by.

Thanks to the Team for all the inspiring and kind words.

That's all for this report more in the near future.

Gree C.








March is comin' in like a LION!













Gree C. Hair told me today that she likes to read about us here on the couch. She says she can see us in her mind's eye, and it gives her the excellent feelin's.
This is Gree C. on the pullout couch of Team Shredder.



















Here's to Gree C. Hair!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

 

?????

Mystery Excellence

Gree C. Hair has sent me this beautiful image, but I'm not allowed to say anything about it.
Can't even name her real name, I mean, the artist's real name, and then send it through the channels of the Just Because Department. Because that would be saying something about it. So instead I'll say nothing.
I'll just let it speak for itself. Though I don't think she'd mind if I said that it doesn't stand alone. It's got others like it, with little differences, working together to form a larger thing. A thing of beauty, for sure. A thing I hope to be allowed to tell you about when it's done.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

 

Just Because

The Just Because department of Team Shredder is pleased to announce Jennifer Macdonald's inclusion in the current group show at The Drawing Center. The show is called Analog Animation: Selections Spring 2006.
This is a still from Jen's 3-minute animation----->
of a boy eating and disgorging blackbirds. The whole dang thing is hand painted, I might add. I can't wait to go see this, because if this piece is anywhere near as good as the one other animation of hers I've seen, called Brighter Death Now, then look out people!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

 

Somebody's Uncle Casey was a hip, Swinging Biker back in '72

This is no lie.







Sunday, February 19, 2006

 

Today.

February 19th, 2006
A lot of things happened today.
Marcia Bryson died this morning. I didn't know her, except as Anna Joy's mom. It's unspeakably sad, and yet from what I understand, it happened in a truly beautiful and magical way. Anna was right by her side, finding the perfect things to say to help Marcia on her path. But I believe what she said also helped Ali, and herself, and even me, when I heard about it. Ali talks about the whole thing in a much more articulate way.
I praise Anna for becoming a true healer, and Ali for being such a good partner. I love you both.
Go in peace, Marcia.





The crazy thing is, today is also the 2 year anniversary of Anna Joy Springer and Ali Liebegott and Mr. and Mrs. The Capt'n's double wedding. We all drove up to San Francisco and got married at City Hall. It was an amazing day, I'll tell you what. Happy Anniversary











Saturday, February 18, 2006

 

Love Note to Corny, Shyly Disguised as Tip on the Master Cleanse

The Cap'n and I are sitting here on the couch like we like to do post-surf, gazing at the lady hostess/announcer of the Olympics and commenting admiringly on her courage, she who dares to flaunt convention by wearing what is either the floor pad for a Volvo or a felt moving blanket provided by U-Haul. You go, girl, snap, etc. Mrs. The Cap'n is out of town, but before heading to the airport she rose at the crack o' dawn to prepare for her menfolk an exquisite strawberry bundt cake with her nuanced paws. Thank you Mrs. The Cap'n. The cake's really good with these pretzels and this tomato soup!

Corny, I've been away, researching my latest book--Leaving the Body-- for Team Shredder Press, but I wanted to tell you that I didn't really complete the Master Cleanse. Instead, I inadvertently stumbled on something I've dubbed "The JUNIOR Cleanse," and it worked out okay, so I just wanted to let you know you have options. I felt rilly good on the cleanse for 4 days, but as you know I have a little bit of an issue with mental illness and the brain chemistry, so when I started raging and weeping and hearing voices on Night 4, I kinda thought I better eat something. Sadly, the M.C. coincided with a grim period of Not Even Having Any Money To Eat, Neither a Farthing Nor Wooden Drachma (everything's okay now--I blame myself. I mean, I AM 46 yrs old and you'd think I could budget a little better at this point, but anyhoo . . .)











Anyway, I made it through the night but the next day at my gardening job for a fellow teacher, she offered me a Trader Joe's Mushroom and Cheese and Bacon Quiche, and thus was the Junior Cleanse born. Technically, it looks like this:

The Junior Cleanse
Follow instructions for the Master Cleanse, until such point as you begin hallucinating or tempted to kill everyone you see except for The Cap'n and Mrs. The Cap'n. If you DO start descending into madness, immediately take the following steps and you'll be right as rain:

Noon: Trader Ho's Personal Quiche
3 p.m.: 1/2 bottle Grade B Vermont syrup, swilled directly from bottle
5 p.m.: 1 carne asada burrito w/guacamole and 3 rolled carne asada tacos

6:30 pm: Allow yourself to weep and accuse others of whatever. If you feel the urge to write poetry, indulge. Your body's still adjusting to the change. It wants to thank you, but can't remember how.

8 p.m.: 1 xtra large tub of double-butter popcorn with Eileen at King Kong, along with Family Size Coke that, when drained by you, will provide suitable receptacle for Eileen to pee in when movie turns out to be so good that she can't leave.

Midnight: Take your pills as usual, go to bed. In the morning you will awaken feeling fit and calm and ready to resume your regular diet of Cokes and cheese bricks the size of a car battery.

I love you, Corny and Grea C. Hair and Mountain Man, even though I feel shy because I've been out of touch/my body researching the new book, as mentioned above. I also want to express my deepest gratitude to Mr. and Mrs. The Cap'n. They're one o' the kindest, most compassionate couples known to man, as well as hilarious--in the style of Mr. and Mrs. Corny and Mr. and Mrs. Grea C. Hair--and they have kept me afloat as I wandered through that dark night that some have called The Valley of The Broadcasting Molars. If I may mix metaphors. I'm happy to be your Kramer, Mr. & Mrs. The Cap'n!

 
K
i
n
g
T
o
r
r
e
n
c
e

Thursday, February 16, 2006

 

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

 

Stuff 'n' Things

1) Team Shredder takes a drive
Sea Monkey and The Capt'n awoke from their naps, climbed in the van, and happily putt-putted thru the cute Barrio Logan to get Sea Monkey's pills at the special farmacia. It was so relaxin'!

2) Team Shredder watched the 'Lympics, even though they really wanted to watch Medium
The Team was joined by Myles on the couch. Saw the Russian figure skaters take the gold. The whole time during the routine they screamed "DON'T DROP HER, CHOAD!!" and it worked.
Women's/girl-child half-pipe, highlight quotes from the announcers:
"She pumps harder than any of the other girls."
"This was the most explosive performance I've ever seen!!"
"The lines between the genders have truly been blurred today."
plus one from the Team Chorus:
"There's gonna a LOT of fisting tonight at the Hotel Turino, they gotta blow off all that steam."

3) Team Shredder plays another round of their new game, called "What the bitch do now?"
A certain producer is messing up a certain production by actually working against the people she is supposed to be working for. Harming & hindering, but not helping. We can't know why. So the Team, in self-defense, must repeatedly workshop it and break it down, it being what the bitch do now. Each round gets wrapped up with a chorus of "C U Next Tuesday."

 

Have you seen this Monkey of the Sea?

Reward! No questions asked!
















Answers to the names "The Doctor," "G," and "Scared Gerbil."
Is a picky eater and prefers cheese, Coca Cola, and smoking American Spirits (was trained to smoke during his tenure as a lab monkey.)
This monkey is a delicate creature and easily becomes disoriented when outside his familiar settings.
Any information leading to the return of Sea Monkey to Team Shredder will be handsomely rewarded, no questions asked.

Monday, February 13, 2006

 

Capt'n's Log


Subject: Vacation

Many things to report. By 9:00 AM Mrs. The Capt'n had already returned from the Y and the store. The early pump and steam, then treats were procured, brekfasses were had. The conversation turned to Death and Loss for a time, then circled back to Comedia.
"Lady Comedy, she is a mysterious mistress! You never know when she'll call. One day she'll come knocking, and you'll happen to tell her you're busy, and she may never come back again!" -Maury Meeks, Team Social Scientist and Bitter Hag
Then tarot readings all around. The tarot, she never lies.


The Team is currently hosting the chil'rens from San Francisco, Sheana and Jen.




Aren't they cute?
Don't you just want to squeeze their little faces?



Sea Monkey and The Capt'n, unlike Mrs. The Capt'n, are postponing today's chores to spend quality time with the chil'rens on the beach. It's not every day we get this oppurtunity to blow off our responsibilities to be with out of towners. Usually we have to be saddled with guilt over blowing things of for lesser reasons.
The visiting auxilliary Team Chil'rens had a tiny scare yesterday on the beach after the Capt'n went in the water "just for a little while," and didn't come out till after darkness fell. It's just that The Capt'n got caught in a tiny vortex and could'nt seem to find a friendly wave to ride in on, as the sun went down quickly. The Chil'rens aren't used to the casual ways of the Team. Sheana worried about how upset The Mrs. would be when they had to tell her that The Capt'n just never came back. The Capt'n registered her Official Apology to the Auxilliary Team.

Today's goals:
1) The Team must strive to get out the house by 2:00 in order to get to the beach in time for the chil'renses to do their barbeque situation, before they have to drive to LA tonight.
2) Can Sea Monkey and The Capt'n get mad rides?
3) Will Invasion be a rerun or will they show a new one tonight?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

 
(click on the image)

Friday, February 10, 2006

 

My Lady Time

I am a cliche. We know this.
Having said that, let's take a look at what Day 1 is like on my "cycle."

Thursday, February 09, 2006

 






Claudio Monteverdi
Hugo Wolf
Henri Duparc
Oliver Messaen
Joan Armatrading
The Smiths
Belle and Sebastian
Kate Bush


Monday, February 06, 2006

 

Sunday, February 05, 2006

 

Just Because

We here in the Just Because Department feel it is time to display several excellent things, just because.





Ron Athey and Juliana Snapper in February Art in America.








photo Paula Court




Zoe Strauss on the cover of Public Space

and then in Colors magazine too.

















Jennifer Macdonald, Hunter College MFA show, last time around.





What will Jen do this time?

Saturday, February 04, 2006

 
















Mosler, "The Spirit of the Rainbow"
Dupuis, "An Ondine Playing in the Waves"
Corinth, "Reclining Nude"

Thursday, February 02, 2006

 

Female Trouble





Not really.
Just time to get the lady business checked out. Check out the goods, check it out.
Nobody likes doing this, but do I must.
I love Planned Parenthood.
The mens have it easy, all they have is a bag and a hose, what's the problem? Once in a while a little butt cancer, but that is so early-catchable.
Why they tryin' to take away my rights?

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

 

Team Shredder Book of the Month Club

This month's hot pick:

Team Shredder chooses this book because it speaks to the madness of our times, as well as the madness up in here personally. Things are going haywire. Video editing is severely stunted as videos continue to be posessed by demons. Blogs are going berzerk, things are disappearing.
For example: yesterday, for no reason, our "Cost of War" counter and 1970's graphic "war is unhealthy for children and other living things" both vanished from our sidebar. Out of the blue. For no reason. Nobody here touched it. Why would they vanish???
What is going on here? Am I getting paranoid?


(...I put back the graphic, and I'm still working on the counter...)

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