Wednesday, January 23, 2008
When Doves Cry
Tragedy has struck Team Shredder. I busted my fin box on my favorite surfboard, The Green Rocket.
I have no one to blame but myself.
I knew better. The tide was very low, and dropping still, yet I took that wave too far in anyway. Over the sand would have been fine, high tide would have been better, but this was in an area covered in rocks. Rocks that are close to the surface at low tide. Rocks that I know all about since this was at my home break.
At least I didn't do what Jay did, which was to jump off his board, land on a rock, and break his foot, all the while knowing better. It's a comfort somehow, which may or may not be disgusting to admit.
: 3:18 PM : 3:18 PM At least you're not using as a way to beat yourself up...
1 800 my fin box is out!
If only you were here for the performance of peeds as Rhoda and Steve Perry on air guitar but sexier and mountain man as Debra winger but sexier
: 11:19 AM Sir, that is what I like to call Neptune's Dick Blow. First he wraps you in The World of Illusion, then he slaps you upside the hay with his DICK. NDB, babe, NDB. I'm so sorry.
Don't be down on Self, Cap'n. NDB is pretty much the only game in town for all of us right now in these halcyon days of 2008--
Mars is still drowning in Cancer, Mercury goes retro on the 28th, etc etc. Just be gentle with yourself, Cap'n. Of course you wanted to stay on that ride for as long as possible. Them few seconds o' Going Fast on A Wave--it's practically all we got, sir.
If any of the parties who attended a certain dinner party or HELD the dinner party are reading this I am sorry about our non-attendance but Nicola has massive Lyme's Disease, including double vision and falling down. That doesn't mean we're not assholes, and I apologize, but I'm just sayin.
Actually, were we even invited?
Cap'n, when you think you see a whale surfacing this month--DON'T FALL FOR IT! That is Neptune's Dick! It gonna BLOW!
I'll send you a new Fin Box, sir, with the $4 advance I'm gonna get for my 4-page book.
I knew you was feelin feelins I could feel it! I did a shout to you then erased it note: never erase gay feelins!
babe you two are always missed but LYME DISEASE that's just terrible please tell Nicola I said get well quickly
Fuck Lyme, Connecticut and Fuck plum island where the government accidentally invented it Sea monkey I know you know what Im talking about
Plum Island tiny island between L.I and Conn. (epicenter of lyme disease)which no one is allowed to go to, which on the map says island for gov. animal experimentation.
But back to Captn who got slapped while living the dream
at least you weren't slapped while getting your car inspected or I dont know what Im saying and god knows there were days when I wished someone would break my box...but that is all in the past
Sea Monkey my watery friend you are missed call me again from the trader joes parking lot or we can text back and forth I could give you complete synopsis in text of edge of your seat movie Cloverfield I saw it when I was too tired to sleep alien invasions never live up to anyones expectations but this was thinly veiled depiction of guliani as giant 200'tall toothless sweaty walking effluvium slinging fear among other things but Ill save it for tireless texting
ps the CAPTN AND MRS COMING IN MARCH we have another dinner party somewhere...
Nicole was talking about needing an excuse to make a giant deviled egg
: 3:01 PM Speaking of Seamonkey--OF COURSE YOU WERE INVITED! and terribly missed. But please send wishes to Nicola that I hope she gets better soon.
Gree, you are way too kind. As if Steve Perry could get any sexier??
: 9:58 AM 2. I didn't know about this Plum Island thing! Gree, I can't even address hilarity of your post in this issue of "I Don't Understand One Thing I Wrote In This So-Called Book."
3. Peeds, I'm laughing so hard at image of you knocking head against wall. Also, the Fin Box is both a part of your board AND a part of your anatomy. You see, The Lesbian he started out as a Dolphin. You do the math.
4. I am xo excited to go see Cloverfield, and wish I could stop turning quote marks into italics and sneak out of house to go to New Paltz Mall #2000 to watch it with the young aimless choads of The Town but I'm too nauseous from anti-ADD drugs to move (A), and (B) Nicola is sitting over there drooling with Lyme's Disease but STILL WORKING ON HER ART, so--you know.
Question to the audience:
Why did God invent the space/time continuum, then reveal to first Seamonkey, and then Science, that the space/time continuum was a lie, yet fail to inform the Body--which hurtles past missed deadline after missed deadline toward Death even THOUGH THERE IS NO TIME?!!! And a shallow grave even though THERE IS NO SPACE?!!!
Does that make sense even though RATIONALITY IS A LIE?!!!
Links to this post:
9 Comments:
Oh no! ARe you okay? I hope you aren't in too much pain Capt'n. Shall I send you another cheesesteak?
By , at
3:18 PM
Oh no! ARe you okay? I hope you aren't in too much pain Capt'n. Shall I send you another cheesesteak?
By , at
3:18 PM
Yeah, thanks pd. i think that would be the one thing that would ease my emotional pain.
By 
The Capt'n, at
6:11 PM
Oh Capt'n
At least you're not using as a way to beat yourself up...
1 800 my fin box is out!
If only you were here for the performance of peeds as Rhoda and Steve Perry on air guitar but sexier and mountain man as Debra winger but sexier
By , at
11:19 AM
When SEAMONKEEs cry! Oh Cap'n, my Cap'n. I'm trying to "work" on my "book" and now I can't do it because I'm so stressed out about your fin box!
Sir, that is what I like to call Neptune's Dick Blow. First he wraps you in The World of Illusion, then he slaps you upside the hay with his DICK. NDB, babe, NDB. I'm so sorry.
Don't be down on Self, Cap'n. NDB is pretty much the only game in town for all of us right now in these halcyon days of 2008--
Mars is still drowning in Cancer, Mercury goes retro on the 28th, etc etc. Just be gentle with yourself, Cap'n. Of course you wanted to stay on that ride for as long as possible. Them few seconds o' Going Fast on A Wave--it's practically all we got, sir.
If any of the parties who attended a certain dinner party or HELD the dinner party are reading this I am sorry about our non-attendance but Nicola has massive Lyme's Disease, including double vision and falling down. That doesn't mean we're not assholes, and I apologize, but I'm just sayin.
Actually, were we even invited?
Cap'n, when you think you see a whale surfacing this month--DON'T FALL FOR IT! That is Neptune's Dick! It gonna BLOW!
I'll send you a new Fin Box, sir, with the $4 advance I'm gonna get for my 4-page book.
By Laurie Weeks, at
11:30 AM
Sea monkey!
I knew you was feelin feelins I could feel it! I did a shout to you then erased it note: never erase gay feelins!
babe you two are always missed but LYME DISEASE that's just terrible please tell Nicola I said get well quickly
Fuck Lyme, Connecticut and Fuck plum island where the government accidentally invented it Sea monkey I know you know what Im talking about
Plum Island tiny island between L.I and Conn. (epicenter of lyme disease)which no one is allowed to go to, which on the map says island for gov. animal experimentation.
But back to Captn who got slapped while living the dream
at least you weren't slapped while getting your car inspected or I dont know what Im saying and god knows there were days when I wished someone would break my box...but that is all in the past
Sea Monkey my watery friend you are missed call me again from the trader joes parking lot or we can text back and forth I could give you complete synopsis in text of edge of your seat movie Cloverfield I saw it when I was too tired to sleep alien invasions never live up to anyones expectations but this was thinly veiled depiction of guliani as giant 200'tall toothless sweaty walking effluvium slinging fear among other things but Ill save it for tireless texting
ps the CAPTN AND MRS COMING IN MARCH we have another dinner party somewhere...
Nicole was talking about needing an excuse to make a giant deviled egg
By , at
3:01 PM
Oh my god could I be any happier
By The Capt'n, at
3:17 PM
Uh, first let me admit to my ignorance at thinking your fin box was a critical part of your anatomy, Capt'n. I thought you may be in traction with no action. But as Seamonkey informs, it is a part of your board and not your bod. I am knocking my head against the wall.
Speaking of Seamonkey--OF COURSE YOU WERE INVITED! and terribly missed. But please send wishes to Nicola that I hope she gets better soon.
Gree, you are way too kind. As if Steve Perry could get any sexier??
By , at
9:58 AM
1. Mr. and Mrs. The Cap'n: Juice Boxes for All.
2. I didn't know about this Plum Island thing! Gree, I can't even address hilarity of your post in this issue of "I Don't Understand One Thing I Wrote In This So-Called Book."
3. Peeds, I'm laughing so hard at image of you knocking head against wall. Also, the Fin Box is both a part of your board AND a part of your anatomy. You see, The Lesbian he started out as a Dolphin. You do the math.
4. I am xo excited to go see Cloverfield, and wish I could stop turning quote marks into italics and sneak out of house to go to New Paltz Mall #2000 to watch it with the young aimless choads of The Town but I'm too nauseous from anti-ADD drugs to move (A), and (B) Nicola is sitting over there drooling with Lyme's Disease but STILL WORKING ON HER ART, so--you know.
Question to the audience:
Why did God invent the space/time continuum, then reveal to first Seamonkey, and then Science, that the space/time continuum was a lie, yet fail to inform the Body--which hurtles past missed deadline after missed deadline toward Death even THOUGH THERE IS NO TIME?!!! And a shallow grave even though THERE IS NO SPACE?!!!
Does that make sense even though RATIONALITY IS A LIE?!!!
By Laurie Weeks, at
9:38 AM
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