Team Shredder

Subject: back-to-back killer southwest swells

Object: can we handle the truth?

How much is too much?
At what price glory?
My injuries this week:
1) a slightly re-sprained shoulder
2) slightly blurry vision in one eye, slight headaches, and a slightly bruised lip

My injuries last week:
1) a broken heart because gree c and Angela had to go back home

Last week we had a truly beautiful SW swell that gave us very big, elegant, sweeping, scary-looking yet friendly waves. I think I turned a corner and now I have actual moments of feeling like a real surfer. It may have happened sometime after getting about 50,000 very late takeoffs on giant-ass way overhead waves and tearing down the line at approximately the speed of sound. Like day after day. And then doing better turns, and making my way closer to the nose. By making my way I mean awkwardly shuffling, not elegantly cross-stepping, but whatever, I got to like a foot shy of the tip. Fuck right. Something about last week's swell really made sense to me. Everything came together and finally I just understood.
Wavemaster gree c, who grew up bodysurfing on Long Island, showed her skill and finesse and got some of her best rides ever, she said. Homey has the mad wave knowledge due to her many years on the Island. When she wasn't busy being a Shabbes goy and shutting the lights for the neighbors, she was probably out getting the long waves with her gay father, Bill, whose entire head of hair would be flipped forward after coming off a wave, and who would talk about that last one taking him all the way to the parking lot.
Angela Dufresne turned out to be a sniper of the surfing world. After having been out maybe 10 times in the choppy, brutal New York nasty surf, homegirl was paddling way, way outside with me and fucking charging 4-6 foot waves. Homes was up in there figuring shit out really fast, but finally when she angled in perfectly to the perfect wave and was starting to pop up, some fuckin' choad came out of nowhere and utterly cut her off. I hate the clueless choads. But it was funny when she yelled, "You bastard, you cock blocked me!!"
It was ok that they left San Diego and broke my heart, because a couple days later The Mrs. and I went up to LA for Angela's opening of her excellent show at the Hammer museum, which was a fucking blast. We even saw Orlan there, as well as Shane and Alice of The L Word. Well, we didn't actually SEE Shane and Alice, though I think I saw Alice's derrier walking away.

This week's new southwest swell seems a little meaner and harder to read. There is more northwest in it so set waves are coming in from different directions--whoa--and some of the bigger waves are breaking harder and faster. Plus we have been getting surprise, rogue waves that are huge, glorious looking, and great if you catch them, but a little brutal if you don't. I got caught inside this one harsh bulldozer, which although it broke before it got to me, was so powerful that it made this little explosion of heavy-duty whitewater that plowed me so hard, girl, that I hurt my shoulder trying to control my board in it. My second injury was much more eye of the tiger, though. I was all excited because I made one of those late, steep drops on a killer big wave, and I shot down the line pretty fast. The wall started to lift up steeper, and I got even more excited because I thought maybe, just maybe it would form a barrel. So I went for it. But really I should have acted like a mature person and kicked out, or turned up and over the lip, and let it crash behind me. Because in that next half-second I saw that big ass wall, aka freight train, turn on me and start to close out. It was like 2 feet over my head, and starting to come down fast, steeply, and I was in an awkward position where I couldn't turn or even dive over the top, or down, and that's when the thing smacked me literally upside the head. It hadn't crumbled yet, it was huge and glassy and heavy and it cleanly popped me right in the eye and the side of me face, hard. I closed my eye and when it hit I saw a bright light inside my left eye.
*Note to self*
with the giant winter waves coming soon, it might be a good idea to not attempt some of the crazier, riskier manuvers that you can only get away with in the gentle summer surf.