Friday, August 04, 2006
San Diego: irony-free zone
So we went to the gay pride thingy the other day. I had an out-of-towner friend visiting and the parade goes right by our house, so what the hell. But we were feeling a little snippy and annoyed with the commercialism of the absolut vodka pride floats, etc. that are typical of today, combined with the non-critical, stunted, relatively flavorless community here in San Diego, so Dick Blew and I had to wear our matching shirts to express our frustration with the asimilationist tendencies of the queer power structure within a bloated imperialist society during the dance macabre of late capitalism and plus. You know what I'm saying. But I'm not so sure the people here did. Sure, we thought we were hilarious, but all we got were resentful crickets from the San Diegans. Pictured above: Dick Blew gets ready to tuck her "Gayness is a fucked-out whore" shirt and her slip up into her underpants, with her excellent ass hanging out, which she then wore that way until a disturbed Old Navy queen came over and tried to "help" her and fix her outfit. He actually grabbed Dick Blew's dress and pulled it out of her underwear. But Mary, you can't be physically grabbing a lady's person like that without the lady then having to correct you, which then commenced. I didn't catch the whole thing, but I think I did hear Dick esplaining that she was, in fact, gay too, "even though I only look like a fucked-out whore." It was really funny, though here I am esplaining the joke so it's actually probably not funny any more.
I can't believe those Mary's were so uptight. Mr. Old Navy was lucky you didn't deck him for leaving his prints on your lady. Jeez. So what did the floats say?
Absolut Mary?
: 2:21 PM but you know what? Fuck it, it's free expression, and we get to say what we feelin'up in here.
MM! Wow. Where you been all my life? What a treat to have you appear in our comment box.
Sorry for the overshare. Even typing it was too taxing on my digits.
: 12:56 PM Sorry about your digits. Hopefully they will still be able to form a claw with which to clutch your beer.
On another note...my week was full of minor celebrity sightings:
Silvio (aka Stevie Van Zandt)
Sandra Bernhardt (see her a lot)
Steve Carell
Morgan Spurlock (supersize me)
Alessandro Nivola (Laurel Canyon)
: 4:25 PM : 4:26 PM On another note...my week was full of minor celebrity sightings:
Silvio (aka Stevie Van Zandt)
Sandra Bernhardt (see her a lot)
Steve Carell
Morgan Spurlock (supersize me)
Alessandro Nivola (Laurel Canyon)
supersize me)
Alessandro Nivola (L
: 4:31 PM Now, Major Dagger,
A. those are some good looking shirts. Although I am so happy to see your response to "Coors Light (registered trademark) Gay Day," I am sorry that your brilliant commentary fell into a deep well and landed on disgarded special edition rainbow slimfast cans. San Diegans should have flocked around you offering nonstop praise instead of getting it up the ass from "the man."
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10 Comments:
That's some picture of Dick's Below, I mean Blew.
I can't believe those Mary's were so uptight. Mr. Old Navy was lucky you didn't deck him for leaving his prints on your lady. Jeez. So what did the floats say?
Absolut Mary?
By , at
2:21 PM
Yeah, Absolut Mary, absolut bud lite, absolut ragged, absolut passing in the military, don't ask don't tell, you know, peeds. Absolut humorless. But I don't know, now I'm wondering if maybe we weren't a little too hard on the people with our message. I don't strive to be hostile or nothin' and I don't want to create the bad vibe up in the world, which I'm now a tiny bit worried that was what they misconstrued us to be doing....
but you know what? Fuck it, it's free expression, and we get to say what we feelin'up in here.
By 
The Capt'n, at
10:23 PM
MM!! Dick's ass is a thing of wonder and beauty. Not trying to rub it in (that you missed it.)
MM! Wow. Where you been all my life? What a treat to have you appear in our comment box.
By The Capt'n, at
9:42 AM
Hi MM! Hi Capt'n. I am experiencing this weird disease called Phillaxia. It is an affliction whereby I lounge around and read all day instead of hopping a train to Philly for my ma's b-day. I was gonna surprise her and get there this afternoon, but after talking to her on the phone...I've decided that my limbs are not operational, and thus, I cannot go til tomorrow.
Sorry for the overshare. Even typing it was too taxing on my digits.
By , at
12:56 PM
peeds! Why is it so hard to hop on that train to Philly? I have personally experienced that phenom like 10,000 times in my life.
Sorry about your digits. Hopefully they will still be able to form a claw with which to clutch your beer.
By The Capt'n, at
1:19 PM
Capt'n, my digits are just fine..just playing up the crippling Phillaxia. It's the new fibromyalgia, me thinks. I am ready for the beer tonight. It'll prepare me for the morning train.
On another note...my week was full of minor celebrity sightings:
Silvio (aka Stevie Van Zandt)
Sandra Bernhardt (see her a lot)
Steve Carell
Morgan Spurlock (supersize me)
Alessandro Nivola (Laurel Canyon)
By , at
4:25 PM
I guess the minor celeb sightings were in preparation for major celeb sightings...on Aug. 23rd.
By , at
4:26 PM
Capt'n, my digits are just fine..just playing up the crippling Phillaxia. It's the new fibromyalgia, me thinks. I am ready for the beer tonight. It'll prepare me for the morning train.
On another note...my week was full of minor celebrity sightings:
Silvio (aka Stevie Van Zandt)
Sandra Bernhardt (see her a lot)
Steve Carell
Morgan Spurlock (supersize me)
Alessandro Nivola (Laurel Canyon)
supersize me)
Alessandro Nivola (L
By , at
4:31 PM
my comment got all messed up at the end...sorry
By , at
4:39 PM
Ok, first, I would really consider those celebrity sightings "major," PD. Don't undercut your celebrity sightings!
Now, Major Dagger,
A. those are some good looking shirts. Although I am so happy to see your response to "Coors Light (registered trademark) Gay Day," I am sorry that your brilliant commentary fell into a deep well and landed on disgarded special edition rainbow slimfast cans. San Diegans should have flocked around you offering nonstop praise instead of getting it up the ass from "the man."
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