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I'm starting to look like my dad, who was actually quite handsome, so that part's cool, although I'm not really talking about the looks department. I mean more like the skin damage department. He was a sailor who spent like 50 years shirtless out on the decks of the freight ships & tankers. Cute & butch but a little ruff.

By  The Capt'n, at 12:52 PM  

But he wasn't orange, though.

By  The Capt'n, at 12:53 PM  

capt'n, yer dad sounds cute, all ruff'n tumbly. I know a certain art dealer who does the spray-tan thing. He is truly orange, Fanta orange, and has white hair. He looks like an Oompa-Loompa.

By  sloth, at 7:44 PM  

you left out blistered

capt'n you know I know what you're talking about
I think I'd rather be orange roughy than a gnome

By  Anonymous, at 1:31 AM  

I forget, sloth, what's an Oompa-Loompa?

By  The Capt'n, at 8:17 AM  

And Gree C., what's wrong with a little rosy cheek action on a green dwarf?

By  The Capt'n, at 8:17 AM  

Capt'n, Oompa-loompas are the little orange elves on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. They were cute and creepy and very orange.

By  sloth, at 10:52 AM  

RX: cover with mud, fall asleep, wake up and wash. Voila! recovery!
should we start calling you Capt'n Ruddy at the rudder?

By  Unknown, at 12:14 PM  

Yeah Gaylord, that would totally make my day if you started calling me Capt'n Ruddy at the rudder. Good thinking.

But does that make you Queen Muddy at the mudder?

By  The Capt'n, at 12:17 PM  

.......cricket.......

By  The Capt'n, at 12:17 PM  

Sloth, it has all come crashing back to me now. Thanks for the repressed memory recovery.

By  The Capt'n, at 12:20 PM  

be careful, capt'n. anna joy springer claims her complete inspiration as an artist came from the oompa loompas. I just re watched Wilie Wonka with her a month ago. What a trippy fucking movie.

By  Ali, at 1:32 PM  

Totally trippy, very dark. Gene Wilder was perfectly cast.

Capt'n, yer welks. I can also do repressed mammary recovery.

By  sloth, at 3:36 PM  

Yeah, can I get a session with you, Sloths? My manish boobs are very repressed.

By  The Capt'n, at 9:01 PM  

mine too. I'm experimenting with plungers.

By  sloth, at 9:11 PM  

Capt'n: You know you are the most handsome person around and it'll take more than a little sunburn to change that!

By  Anonymous, at 10:07 PM  

I do not suffer from repressed mammaries, but often think it would be an okay affliction every now and then.

By  Anonymous, at 10:09 PM  

pd I suffer from missing you. Just know i suffer.

By  The Capt'n, at 10:41 PM  

shux pd, I just saw what you wrote...blushing through the roughy...pink on orange

By  The Capt'n, at 10:02 AM  

Tis true, tis all true Capt'n. And, when I first saw those pics of your father that you posted a while ago...I was struck by how handsome he was and how much you look like him.

By  Anonymous, at 10:06 AM  

P.S. I keep thinking of NM. Still trying to swing that. I want to be on permanent vacation now.

By  Anonymous, at 10:07 AM  

Ali, you gotta crank up the tit-absorption; it hasn't made a dent in this foul dog-breath atmosphere. I feel like I'm chewing an exhaust-burger.

By  sloth, at 10:18 AM  

it's veddy veddy hot sloth. do you know once i saw a real sloth in costa rica, (not to insinuate you're not a real sloth). a sloth only comes down from its tree once every five days to go to the bathroom. isn't that nice? they're very aggressive though. My lady missed seeing a sloth fight by a few seconds. the males are very territorial. I don't know how the mannish-woman sloths are. Sloth, are you a mannish-woman? or are you just a woman? or a man? in this internet web of deception it's hard to know who's who. I'm a moman. me and a mannish friend of mine went to get the free curves week membership--we walked in and everything was lavendar. our cheap lesbianism outweighed our shame of being "mummin." pronounced like woman but with a m. i'm a moman, sloth. i'm a hot and humid moman.

By  Ali, at 10:35 AM  

I am a very humid, dare I say fetid, female of the sloth species ali. You know this about Curves, right? did you go to firebomb the place?

By  sloth, at 10:50 AM  

i found out later about the evils of curves, don't worry. i helped dismantle them buy eeking out a free day from them and wearing their lavendar hula hoop out. my plann was to hula hoop them into financial ruin

By  Ali, at 10:55 AM  

lol! That is subtle, ali. I'm all inspired now... gonn go puncture their pilates balls with a sharpened pogo stick.

By  sloth, at 11:15 AM  

Hi. Your skin is lovely. Breasts are for everyone, especially me. Please send me live samples in the mail if you wouldn't mind, I will send them back to you decorated with tassles if you want tassles. If you don't want tassles take dust on them. It's the middle of the night, I am sending my best wishes to you. Never worry again about anything. I promise to try if you try.

By  Anonymous, at 11:20 PM  

You have a deal, MM.
Oh, and I'll have to take dust; it's more my style. Please expect a shipment from the Team Shredder lab promptly. Where to ship, city shack or cuntry?

By  The Capt'n, at 9:54 AM  

Best regards from NY! Beds for back pain relief

By  Anonymous, at 9:15 PM  

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