Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I'm really having a hard time getting dressed for the day.

1. find satisfactory, multi-purpose day-to-evening outfit
2. get out the house
3. go surfing
4. shower at public restroom at the beach
5. go to werkplatz
6. go to Eileen and Sea Monkey's thing at Che Cafe
7. perhaps drink afterwords, or else run home to the couch

1. I look like crap in all my clothes now
2. I don't think I'm ready for this jelly
3. despite all my best efforts, I see I've still internalized some misogynist bullshit. This is an obstacle to getting dressed
4. how many bags can I carry out to the van in one trip?
a. man purse
b. plastic bag for wetsuit
c. plastic bag for shampoo etc.
d. bag of work stuff

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Just Because

We here in the Just Because Department feel it is time to show a picture by Zoe Strauss. Just because she is the A#1 Classy Dagger, and we love 'er.

Monday, November 28, 2005


Team Shredder Book of the Month Club

This month's Hot Pick:

Sunday, November 27, 2005


We're doing fine

Capt'n's Log
Subject: Thanksgiving Report

Approximately 23:00 hours after The Capt'n left for Tulsa, Sea Monkey and Dick Blew were in a blackout, the car was towed, and they woke up in Lamby's bed, their heads under the crushing weight of Jackson the dog.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Bipolar Alcoholic Lesbian with ADD, Herpes, HepC, Unfinished Book, Zero $, SexDrive & Future seeks Biographer/Patron from Alternate Parallel Universe

You: Empty Inside.

Send cash or money orders, payable to cash only, to:
1751 University Ave, #211, San Diego, CA 92103

Who should write the introduction? I'm thinking like Noam Chomsky or Godard. Afterword by Deneuve. Whatever. I'll think about it.

Don't think you're not a weasel. People better and smarter than you:

Mr.&Mrs. The Cap'n
Anabel Clare, Theo,May May
My whole family.
Dick Blu
Cats: Steve, Cherry, Buddy, Sheldon, Ernie, Cy, Mookie, URL, Buster, Eddie
Dogs: Squid, Rosie, Jackson

Just send the dough and we'll talk.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


You're doing fine, Oklahoma

but am I???
Had to catch those last mad rides at Tourmaline today, alone by the way, since Sea Monkey seems to be temporarily MIA. I know she'll resurface, though, and hopefully with her lost password to the Team Shredder blog in hand.
"Inch by inch, they made their way."
You go get 'em, little Tigres-Euphrates. I know you're out there gettin' it done.
But anyway back to me. I love my gay cousins in Tulsa, but I don't love Tulsa, and I love my brother, but dang already with the aggravation.
"I blame myself."
I'll try not to downward-spiral too much in the next couple days. You too?

Mrs. The Cap'n and I had to go see the Van Gogh drawing show at the Met. And the answer is: YES. I mean, who do you think got me through high school, besides Quaaludes, Joni Abel, Joni Mitchell, various girlfriends who shall remain unnamed, (because I'm totally over it) and Patti Smith?
Who was really there for me? Vincent! My first art hero!

Monday, November 21, 2005

I guess I forgot to mention to our dear readers that I was going away to NY for 4 days. Sorry, you two.
Now, the morning after: exhausted, coughing up the taste of blood, and need a chiropractic adjustment bad. It appears that The Cap'n can no longer keep up with the city slickers no more. T'was long ago that she shed her east coast armour, and The Capt'n's delicate sensibilities have since draped themselves upon the gentle silhouettes of the palm trees against the pink fingers of sunset at Tourmaline, the preferred surf break of Team shredder. I don't know how those NYers do it, chain smokin' like tuff skinny dragons and always on the go go go. I guess the key ingredient would be ambition. Speaking of, Sea Monkey and I expect to finish our video real soon, ahem. But I only have 2 days at home before I have to turn back around and go to the cousin's in fucking Tulsa for thanksgiving. Oi veysmir. So guess where my ass is gonna be in the meantime, yeah, uh-huh, up on that surfboard.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


Can't get enuf of Athey/Snapper stuff

For PERFORMA 05, PARTICIPANT INC becomes the stage for a series of durational actions and several evenings of live film, video, and performance including Derrick Adams, Ron Athey and Juliana Snapper, Charles Atlas and Chris Peck, Vaginal Davis, Lovett/Codagnone, My Barbarian, Luther Price and Katharine Finneran (in conjunction with the Roberta Beck Memorial Cinema), Rafael Sanchez, Julie Tolentino, and Suara Welitoff and Thalia Zedek.

Thursday, November 17, 8pm (Admission $5)
SCOUT: Ron Athey and Juliana Snapper
Using vocal material developed for their opera, The Judas Cradle, Athey and Snapper give a special performative gallery recital teasing the space between sickness and sparkle.
SCOUT is an ongoing literary and performance event series curated by writer Eileen Myles.

Monday, November 14, 2005

What do the "I FEEL / I NEED" blocks tell us this morning?

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Bozo Picks a Boyfriend, 1992, Jerome Caja.

Saturday, November 12, 2005


Juice boxes for everyone!

Left: The Cap'n, middle: Aunt Phyllis, right: Sea Monkey

Friday, November 11, 2005

I got nothin' today

But I did want to show you another one of my fave graphic artists...The Bunch!

click on the image to get a blow up

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Here is Ali Liebegott's double portrait of King Torrence, or Mr. and Mrs. The Cap'n if you will. Mr. Liebegott keeps busy these days playing Grand Theft Auto, working on her graphic novel about her soulmate, Slim the duck, and teaching adults at adult school and the kids of today at UCSD. She's a great writer and there's more of her stuff at:

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Girl, the greatest love of all,

without a doubt, is surfing off of the edge of the earth.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005



In the unlikely event that there remains any person or persons who may still feel unclear about what's real, I've provided the following flowchart:

J. Snapper hitting it hard at NYU, October '05.
Learn, children.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Dear Diarrhea,

Dag, yesterday morn I tweaked my back just sitting on the couch, literally. I felt like a butthead, but then I turned that frown upside down and resolved to go back to yoga. What the kids of today don't understand is that when you get old like the Cap'n you risk injury just going about your everyday business. Then you have to lay on the floor and do the emergency repair yoga and the Feldenkrais. Which worked enough to get me out on a rendezvouz with S'Monkey at our beloved Tourmaline where we both got many sweet rides. The waves looked big and scary coming at us, but then they eased out into gentle long rollers. So technically they weren't really mad rides, they were sweet rides. Sea Monkey is really on top of her game, I noticed. (note to self: go to the Y at least twice this week.) Then after a sweet visit with Anna Hoy and Ali, I came home to Hooli and the Doctor on the couch. We ate Ron Athey's leftover middle eastern food that he made, called somethin somethin, but it was delish, while watching Law and Order, starring Ratty and Piggy and Biggy and Jungley. Ratty is the forgettable mousey detective lady with dishwater blonde hair, Piggy is that enraging pig snout guy who always gives the halting, actor-y self-righteous speeches when they get their man, and Mr. Big and that sexy italian lady who was in Jungle fever and who played Tony Soprano's crazypants mistress.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Just Because

We here in the Just Because departent felt it was time to show one of Lizzie Bonaventura's paintings, just because we love her and she is so excellent.

Friday, November 04, 2005


Drunkypants: The Morning After

Team Shredder Press, 2005

"...gripping..." -NY Times Review of Books
"...unreal...too real..." -El Cahon Examiner


Butch Vraiment

mmm how do you say...Off the hook? with some tasey ass Paella. mmmm how do you say... Bitch its Curtains? pussy-lickin-proley-art-faggot-coke-sniffin-diy-motherfucking-aesthetes lemme say. Ima grab a big hunk of your long stringey hair ... Put your gateau in my bateau. Yes. and after a whiskey and 5 glasses of wine and then 2 glasses of wine I started to understand the French. Literally. I was like: huh-huh-huh and uh-wheee.

Thursday, November 03, 2005


Coming Soon to Theaters Near You

Don't miss this new documentary about two surf legends on the ultimate surf trip to Mission Beach, SoCal. Starring The Cap'n and her lil' bro DJ Rob Fatal.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


In mourning and in rage

Reruns of Invasion AND Lost, all in one night?


Sea Monkey and Cap'n see face of god, again

Even with hardly any waves at all, which is fine since we're so talented. Even at low tide with reef attacking us, which is ok since we're so tough. And even with thousands of pellicans, seagulls and those other cute thingys dive bombing all around us in a feeding frenzy, causing the whole place to smell like dead fish and bird poop, which we actually love, because we are highly skilled zen warriors with razor-sharp focus who live in the moment.

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